But We Said Forever
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: But Jim's mom knows you should never promise forever and she wishes she could have told her son that before he had his heart broken, because everyone knows forever doesn't last. Jim/Bones slash.
1. Answers On A Postcard

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Title: We Said Forever

**Summary: The one time Jim Kirk said he wanted something to last forever was the time when his love was misplaced. **

**Author's Note: I'm not really sure where this came from, I was just listening to Avril Lavigne's _My Happy Ending _and then this came into my head. Then it was fed by numerous other songs by Jordin Sparks. I just had to share this with you. I should have an update for this by about tomorrow. It's half written already and I know exactly where I'm going with this! I hope you enjoy, and please review because it means the world to me!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own _Star Trek 2009._** **But I do have a rather awesome poster right in front of me on the wall.**

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"Time to meet my mom, huh, Bones?" I smile as I walk along the familiar town road in the summer sunshine. Bones smiles but doesn't say anything and I guess he's just tired. We all are and it's one hell of a relief to be on shore leave at last. We reach the little redbrick café that mom arranged to pick us up from and we sit on the wall outside. The street is deserted and the only people in sight are the few couples sitting inside the café sipping on cold juices.

"Jim?" Bones says suddenly and I look at him. There's an expression I don't recognise on his face and I'm not sure I like it.

"Yeah?" I prompt watching him carefully.

He turns away and looks across the road to the row of shops advertising their products garishly in the windows. "I'm not sure I want to do this," he blurts out.

I stare at him, "What?"

"I'm not-."

"I heard you the first time," I snap in annoyance and confusion, "But what you on about?" My heart is thudding in my chest. Is he saying what I think he's saying? I don't want to hear this. I was afraid this might happen but I forced myself to ignore that risk and let myself fall. I knew it was a risk, but we were happy! Bones told me he loved me! He said he was happy being together. But now…? What now?

"Jim, I don't think it's working between us," Bones tells me quietly as he slips his hand out of mine. "I can't do this."

"What? Yes you can! All we're doing is going to visit my mom! She's not that scary!" I try to joke. I try to make the conversation light. "Hell, I could phone her up and tell her I've got the cold and I'm gonna stay in a hotel and then we can-." I'm rambling but not really making a point. I'm James Tiberius Kirk! I'm meant to have an answer for everything! Dammit, I'm a Captain!

"No. I'm sorry, Jim, I just can't. I'm not really cut out for love. I've already had one failed relationship and I can't face another," he interrupts explains sadly.

"Who says this would be a failed relationship?" I demand.

"I'm too scared to love you, and that's why-."

"What the hell Bones! You're not the only one who's been screwed over!" I retort hotly, "And don't you bloody dare play the "it's not you, it's me," thing. I don't want to hear it!"

"It's over Jim. I can't do it. I'm telling you now," Bones insists, looking me straight in the eye. I stand there stunned into silence and just gape at him. He looks apologetic, "I'm sorry, Jim." He turns and starts to walk away down the street and it takes me a moment to realise he's leaving. He's walking away from me. He's walking away from _us. _

"Bones! Bones, wait up!" I call as I hurry along the street after the man I've called my lover until less than a minute ago. I feel my heart ache when he doesn't look around. "Wait! That's an order!"

That makes Bones pause in his stride and turn around with a furious glint in his eye, "You can't use that one on me, Jim. I've been your friend for far too long for you to boss me around." I've also been his _lover. _Does that count for nothing?

"I just-."

"I don't want to hear it. I've told you how I feel and I'm sorry. I'm outta here," Bones informs me bluntly but his eyes are filled with something I can recognise as remorse.

"Please! Don't leave me!" I beg, standing only a few paces away from the man I love. Me, Captain Kirk, begging. What the hell is going on here? Seriously, if you know, answers on the back of a postcard would be much appreciated because I'm stuck here. Things were fine this morning! _We _were fine! I can't help but notice the warm depths of his eyes seem closed to me now.

"I'm sorry, Jim. I'm not cut out for relationships," Bones says firmly, turning on his heel again and setting off along the road at a brisk walk with his head held high. This time I don't follow. After a while I hear a car pull up beside me. At first I don't look around; I just keep staring along the road. Then I hear the car window being rolled down and I hear mom's voice. I recognise it instantly even though I haven't seen or heard her in months. I don't take in what she says but I pull open the car door and flop into the passenger seat.

"Jim, what happened?" mom probes when I don't speak to her. I feel like I've gone into shock or something. How can something just be _over? _

"He left me, mom," I blurt out and then my eyes start to well up. I'm disgusted with myself but right now I'm powerless. "He's gone!"

"Who's gone, honey?" mom asks me as she turns off the engine and unclips her seatbelt. She presses the button to wind up my window again and then wraps her arms around me, pulling me into her chest like she used to do when I was a kid.

"My boyfriend," I whisper, "Hell, mom, I loved him. I _loved _him."


	2. Managing

**Author's Note: I know I promised to update yesterday but believe me I couldn't. My computer crashed and burned pretty much. We had to restore the whole machine and I've lost everything on my hard drive. It's quite ironic really that I'd uploaded this into my Document Manager ready to upload and then virus warnings started piling in. But thank you so much to LoveWithoutLimits and Dana Katherine who reviewed the last chapter! Reviews mean so much to me, so thank you both! Oh, and if you're looking for a song to listen to while reading this, I would recommend Jordin Sparks _No Parade. _It's fantastic and exactly how I imagined what was going on in Jim's head. Anyway, enjoy!

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I had thought it was love. _Love._ I'm not kidding you. I, Jim Kirk, thought I was in love. I'd known lust many times over but this was different. This was something deeper and more all consuming than anything I'd come across before. _He _was something I've never come across before and I really cared about him.

Mom is driving along the beaten country road I know well but it's like this is someone else's life. I'm Captain Kirk now. I belong in a star ship. Not in a little rundown suburban house in Iowa. This isn't hone anymore but hell I'm glad of somewhere to go. I rest my head on the car window and ignore the tears running down my cheeks. I never thought I'd end up like this.

We should be sitting in the car laughing and joking right now. Mom should be smiling at us; glad that I've found someone I really cared about. Bones would probably be sweet-talking mom to impress her and make her think he was a good guy.

When we pull up outside the house there's an overwhelming sense of familiarity that comes with it. "Mom, I'm just gonna sit here for a bit. I'll be in soon," I say slowly.

Mom surveys me for a moment and then nods, "So long as you'll be okay."

"I'll be fine," I lie. She sighs and strokes my hand before getting out of the car and walking up the garden path.

As soon as she's gone, I pull out my phone and look at it. I have my pride. I shouldn't call him. I shouldn't leave messages on his phone. He's said it's over but how can I accept that? How the hell do I just walk away and agree with him. But I'm not desperate. If he wants to be a prat, let him. It won't be long before he realises he's made a mistake.

Thing is, I _have _to talk to him. I call his mobile. I shut my eyes and rest my head against the leather car seat as I listen to it ring. And listen to it ring. And ring. And ring.

"Hello," I hear a familiar voice come on the line.

"Bones-."

"You have reached my answering machine. Please leave your name and number and I'll call you back." My heart sinks when I realise this is only the recorded message. He's not answering. _He's not answering._

Suddenly, the high-pitched beep drills into my consciousness and I'm suddenly lost for words. "It's Jim." I say uselessly. I sit there with my mouth open, feeling distinctly like a goldfish. I shut it and sigh, "Please call me back, Bones, I need to talk to you." I hang up and smack my fist off the window in a temper. Taking a deep breath, I get out of the car and drag my feet towards the house. I open the old wooden door and wander inside. Inside the house looks just the same as it did last time I was here. The only difference is there are no pictures of mom's boyfriend on the wall. She must be single then. Like me, now, I suppose. That thought makes my stomach lurch violently.

"Are you all right, honey?" mom asks as she appears in the kitchen doorway in front of me.

"Yeah," I tell her, "I'm just gonna… I dunno." I turn away and head towards the little bedroom I grew up in. I feel mom's eyes watching me but I don't respond. I don't really have anything to say to her. I smile slightly when I realise all my old posters are still all over the wall. I flop down on my bed and run my hand through my hair. Why me? Why today? Today was just like any other day. No warning, just out of nowhere, "It's over." I look at my phone again. It's like I'm expecting there to be a missed call or something, but there's not. Why would there be?

I feel betrayed. I know I have no right to feel that way because it's not like he was sleeping around. He told me honestly how he felt. But he lied all the rest of the time. For _months _he lied! He told me he cared! He told me he loved me! I remember the night when I stumbled through to his Quarters in the middle of the night after a particularly disastrous mission during which we'd lost one of our engineers. He just rolled his eyes and shuffled over in his bed to let me in too.

"I trust you, Bones," I had whispered as my friend and medical officer held me close that night.

"Thanks," Bones had said awkwardly but he'd held my gaze and for a moment all I could think about were how warm and deep his eyes were.

"I just wanted you to know that," I'd shrugged as I buried my head in his chest, "And also…"

"What?" Bones had enquired curiously.

I'd looked up at him again then pressed a kiss to the medical officer's lips. "That."

Bones hadn't objected when I'd kissed him. In fact, he'd returned the gesture and this was a rare occasion in my life when a kiss didn't lead to a night of heated sex. This time it was just a kiss and that was all that was needed. I think my respect for Bones had grown that night. I realised that this wasn't a relationship to rush and some things were best taken slowly. He'd thought Bones was happy too. Damn you, Bones, damn you.

"Honey?" mom says as she appears in my bedroom door, "D'you want something?"

"No," I say weakly, staring up at the roof. "I'm fine, mom."

"Well, if you need me-."

"I'll manage," I snap, annoyed.

"Jim!" I feel her glare but I don't really care that much. Right now, I couldn't care about anything beyond trying to sort out my own mess.

"Sorry," I mumble and roll over on to my front, burying my head in my pillow still cursing Bones inside my head. Tonight I'm going to go out to that club in the city, get drunk and forget all of this.


	3. Not Thinking

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to all my reviewers! Special mention to OceanTiger13 to whom I couldn't send a review reply. Thank you so much!

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At about lunch time I decide to drag myself out of bed. I wander through to the living room where mom is sitting watching the one o' clock news on the television. She looks up when I walk in and smiles. Her face is more lined that it was the last time but she still looks pretty much the same. I sit down in the armchair and bring my knees up to my chest.

"Would you like some lunch?" mom asks gently.

I shrug, "Not really hungry." Bones should be here too. Mom should be moaning about my lack of use around the house but she'd make us soup and sandwiches or something. She always did try to impress my friends. She was great like that when I was a kid, unless there was a bloke around and he got all the attention.

"Well, if you want anything you know where the fridge is," she says. I notice she looks worried but tries to hide it by picking up the television guide that lies on the floor beside her chair. She flicks absently through it but I can feel her gaze still on me while I pretend to watch the news.

"I'm fine, mom, really," I lie to her when I can't put up with her watching me anymore.

"No you're not," she says contemplatively. Dammit what is it about parents? Seriously, they can see through your lies better than anyone else. Except Bones... Bones always knew when I wasn't telling him the truth and he'd drag it out of me if he thought it was best. I remember that night not too long ago when I'd been more shaken than I'd cared to admit by something someone had said. It had been a comment about my dad and Bones had taken one look at me, hugged me and told me to spit it out. But I'm not thinking about him. I don't care about him.

"Well, there's nothing you can do about it. You don't exactly have the best advice on keeping guys," I frowned, getting to my feet and walking towards the kitchen to get a drink for want of something to do.

"Jim!" mom said, shocked. "Don't you dare-."

"It's true, mom. You can't deny it! The amount of guys that came into this house...?"

"That's enough, Jim. I'm still your mother and you can't speak to me like that," she said hotly, getting to her feet and following me into the kitchen. I took a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and rummaged in the little drawer by the sink for a bottle opener. I wasn't really sure what to say to mom then. I hadn't meant to be so harsh. It just came out. Bones used to say that-. But I don't care.

"Sorry," I mumble and make my way back to my room.

"Jim?" mom calls after me. I turn around and she holds out her arms and walks over to hug me, "He's not worth it, honey. And if he really loves you, he'll be back begging. Don't worry."

"Yeah, but I really thought he loved me," I sigh dejectedly, "I mean, he told me he did!" Once again, I open my mouth and words just tumble out without my permission.

"Things don't always work out the way we want them too, honey," mom says softly as she holds me tightly against her.

"Yeah, I kinda noticed," I reply miserably. "Well, I'm going out tonight. I'm gonna go to that little club in town. I'm not gonna sit around and cry."

Mom looks uncertain, "Don't do anything stupid." She doesn't seem to realise this is the entire point.

Much later on, I have a long shower and clean myself up properly. I drain a ridiculous amount of shower gel because I'm trying to stop myself thinking too much. The little bathroom fills quickly with steam and I can barely see but I don't care. This cloud of mist is something familiar. This used to happen all the time when I still lived here. I smile slightly and wash my hair carefully until the hot water starts to run dry. I feel my way to the towel rail and wrap a towel around my waist before stepping out of the bathroom and walk back to my bedroom.

I rummage around in my wardrobe and pull out a pair of dark jeans and an ice blue shirt, trying to decide what to wear to go out. I look at the shirt for a moment. I wore it once when we were on shore-leave last time. Bones said-. I put the shirt back in the wardrobe and pull out a different black and grey one and decide that will be fine.

When I leave the house, I take mom's car with me. She looks anxious and hugs me, "Have fun. Be careful."

"I'll be fine. Promise!" I tell her before shutting the door and getting into the car. I speed along the dirt road and floor the accelerator. It's dark, nobody ever comes down this way and I don't see why I can't just go for it. I wind down the window and smile as the wind hits my face bringing a fantastic chill of the night with it. I race along for a few minutes and then slow down as I reach the main road to the town. Within minutes I'm parked and locking the car, slipping the keys into my pocket.

It's only a short walk to the pub. I pay the couple of dollars it costs to get inside and enter. The music is near deafening and the mass of moving bodies on the dance floor is heating the place up to the point where it's worse than a sauna. In this place, it's damn near impossible to think about anything. I go straight to the bar and order a pint, down it in one and order another one. The drink warms my throat and stomach and immediately I feel considerably braver. I take my drink over to the dance floor and leave it on a table nearby and join the crowd jumping up and down to the beat or some unknown track. In Star Fleet it can be hard trying to keep up with the music charts on Earth. Not that I really care right now. Music is music.

After a while, I spot a pretty blonde young woman standing by the bar looking more than a little annoyed. I decide to make her my target for my night. Draining my glass, I head over to the bar and stand beside her. "Can I get you a drink?" I ask.

"What?" she says, startled. "Oh, no thanks." I follow her gaze and realise she's watching one guy on the edge of the floor dancing against some dark haired chick in a short dress.

"You're boyfriend?" I ask curiously.

She nods, "Yeah. Stupid bastard."

"He doesn't deserve you," I tell her, "Now, whatcha having?"

She smiles, "A gin and tonic please."

I order our drinks and then we find a table. I dunno how long we were chatting for but she told me all about her prat of a man who just liked to show her off to other blokes but soon as someone he thought was more attractive came on the scene, he'd leave her. "So what about you?" she asks after the second round of drinks.

"S'nothing," I shake off the question, "Just a thing that didn' work out. I'm not lookin' for anythin' serious though." I can feel the alcohol starting to take hold inside me. Things are starting to seem all fuzzy around the edges. Everything seems funny.

"Hell me neither," she laughs and gets up to bring over more drinks. Three vodka shots later and I'm kissing her against the wall. Her hands runs up and down my back and I shiver against her, suddenly very aware of her touch.

"Gorgeous, you are," I whisper as she looks into my eyes with a sort of unfocused, drunken expression.

"Not too bad yerself," she slurs as she leans into me and kisses me messily again.

"Oi, you bastard!" a voice suddenly calls from behind me and suddenly I find myself pulled away by my collar. I blink and look into the face of my captor. It's the woman's boyfriend. He looks livid and I grin at him.

"Hey han'some," I smirk, "You gonna let me go or what?"

"You're gonna pay for kissing my gal," he snarls at me. I hear his "gal" yelling at him to leave alone. She's calling him all sorts of obscenities and he looks furious.

"She doesn' love ya, mate! Now let me go!" I laugh before swinging my fist up into his nose. He gasps and throws me down and kicks out hard. The next few moments pass in a flash of fists and blood. Next thing I know, I'm sitting in the back on the pavement outside with blood dripping down my chin from the corner of my mouth and a thumping headache. Suddenly I'm perfectly sober. Everything seems bleak. I wish Bones was here; he'd know what to do. He'd pick me up and clean my wounds, moaning at me for picking fights in a bar. If I was with Bones, I wouldn't have kissed that girl but if I'd gotten in a fight about anything else, he'd be there. But oh yeah, I'm not thinking about Bones, am I?


	4. Can't Be Bothered Being A Hero

**Author's Note: Once again, thank you so much to everyone who has left a review or added this to favourites or alerts! This really does mean heaps to me! It's great to know that when school work is too difficult that people on here have kind word to say about my writing. Thanks to all of you! You're all awesome! **

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I drag myself to a cheap hotel just down the road and head to the reception. The woman at the desk looks up from the smutty romantic novel she's reading and watches me try to walk in something resembling a straight line. As I reach her she smirks slightly and I half expect to be turned away. However it seems this dump cant afford to turn any sort of customer away. So once I successfully give her my name, she allocates me to a room. I reckon she's being spiteful because I interrupted her reading when she sends me up to a room on the third floor.

"Enjoy your stay," she smiles at me and I glare as I take my key and turn to go upstairs. My nose mouth is throbbing as I blunder up the stairs, trying to keep balanced and not fall over. I wipe fresh blood away with the back of my hand and curse as I stumble on the stairs.

Eventually I reach my room and unlock the door with the little key card. I wander in and let the door slam behind me. The first thing I smell is the damp. Flicking on the light, I groan and look around at the shoddy wallpaper and the lone bed positioned at the side of the room. I sit on the end of the bed and pull out my phone and dial mom.

"Jim?" she asks anxiously.

"Yeah," I say without feeling.

"Are you all right? Where are you?" she demands. All her questions make me dizzy.

I take a deep breath, "I'm fine," I tell her. "I'm in a hotel and I'll be home tomorrow. Honestly, I'm fine. I just had a bit too much to drink." I force myself to sound reasonably happy but it's a struggle.

"Okay," mom says uncertainly. "Well, goodnight, Jim."

"Night mom," I reply and hang up the phone. Suddenly, I'm overcome with an all-consuming sick feeling. I hurry through to the claustrophobic little bathroom and throw up in the toilet. Hell, I wish I wasn't here on my own. After a few moments, my stomach is still again. I sit quietly for a moment with my head resting on my knees. It takes a minute for me to get to my feet and drag myself back through to the bedroom. I collapse in the bed and feel the mattress sag beneath me. I thought I was so tired I'd just fall straight asleep but I don't. I lie here for a good hour or so with my mind spinning so fast I think I'll be sick again. Eventually I decide I can't lie here any longer. I need some fresh air. I get up again and, picking up my key card on the way out, I head towards back out into the corridor intending to go out into the hotel courtyard that was so garishly signposted on the wall. I follow the signs without really thinking things through. I walk carefully on the stairs and hold tightly to the barrier. I curse the alcohol I'd had earlier because it's making everything a bit fuzzy around the edges and everything seems bleak.

Suddenly, a door opens somewhere back up the stairs. Impulsively I turn around and see a man yawning and heading the other way. He is a sandy-haired bloke wearing a brown dressing gown. I turn my head away a little too quickly at the same time as carrying on down the stairs. My heart leaps when my foot doesn't find the step below. My hand doesn't hold tightly enough to the barrier. Next thing I know is an excruciating pain all over my body as I tumble down the last few stairs and lie on the ground at the bottom. Then everything goes black.

The sandy-haired guy must have heard my shout of panic because he's there when I wake up what can only have been seconds later. I hear lights going on in some of the rooms along the corridor and people are coming out looking curious. My body feels paralysed with pain. I shut my eyes tightly and tried to concentrate on sitting up.

"Get out of my way," I hear a moody yet familiar voice snap, "I'm a doctor, get out of my way! What happened here? Jim!" He sounds surprised and a little afraid. I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder and I open my eyes sleepily.

"Bones," I try to smile but all I can manage is a grimace. The corridor lights are hurting my eyes so I shut them again. My head is pounding.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Bones demands in a low voice as he pulls open my eyelids and looks in my eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Talk to me, dammit Jim!" Bones snaps, "Keep talking."

"Clubbing," I mumble, forcing myself to try and do what he says.

"Where are you hurt?" he asks me urgently as I try to look at him again.

"My head," I tell him, "Fell. My wrist…" I'm not usually one to admit pain but somehow I reckon lying on the floor of a hotel finding it hard to move makes it hard to deny. And I can't be bothered being a hero today.

"I think you've broken it," Bones tells me as he holds my wrist and examines it. "Someone's called an ambulance. You're going to be fine."

"Really?" I ask but I'm not talking about my injuries and Bones knows that. He doesn't say anything though. He just looks at me. I can't tell what he's feeling right now, but it feels good just to have him beside me again.


	5. I'm Sorry

**Author's Note: This is the final chapter of this, because to be honest I don't think it needs to go further! I'm also very impressed that I managed to write a fic in a week. I hope you all enjoyed it and I want to thank everyone who reviewed this! It means a lot to me! Oh, and happy Halloween! Hope you all have a good day! **

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The ambulance journey passes in a bit of a blur. I'm bundled into the back and Bones jumps in beside me, looking sullen. I feel sleepy but the paramedic keeps insisting I stay awake. She smiles kindly as she takes out a hypo spray from her case, "Now just relax. This is just s pain killer."

I see Bones' lips twitch as I whimper and immediately tense up before I feel a sharp jolt in the side of my neck. The paramedic continues asking me questions as we go along; "What happened?"; "What's your name?"; "How old are you?"; "When's your birthday?" and so on. I answer lethargically and wish to hell she'd shut up.

The nest hour passes quickly too with x-rays and notes being taken, lights being shone in my eyes and hypos being stabbed into me. When I'm put in a bed in Ward Nine for over night supervision, it's a surprise to find Bones still waiting for me.

"Hello," he says awkwardly. He meets my eyes and watches me carefully.

"Hi," I reply, sitting up in bed and meeting his gaze.

"How are you feeling?" Bones asks.

"Been better," I sigh with a valiant attempt to ignore the pounding in my head, but it's hard to ignore. My wrist was declared broken earlier on and is now bandaged up and throbbing. Using my good hand, I sipped at the water lying beside my bed in a small plastic cup.

"You've been worse," Bones pointed out probably thinking back to my numerous injuries and accidents at work. I wonder at length what the crew will say when I turn up with a broken wrist.

"Yeah, well," I shrug, "I think we need to talk." I watch him for his reaction but his face remains impassive in a way that reminds me suddenly of Spock.

"I think you're right," Bones agrees, nodding slightly. For a moment we're both silent as a pretty nurse walks in to take my temperature and check I'm doing okay. I remember the doctor saying earlier on that I have mild concussion but should be okay by morning. He said most of my weight landed on my wrist so comparatively speaking the blow to my head wasn't as severe.

"Why were you in that hotel anyway?" I ask Bones after a while.

"I could ask you the same thing," he retorts.

"Yeah, but I asked you first. And I told you already," I smirk, sitting up further against my pillows with difficulty.

"Sleeping, until you woke me up, falling down the stairs," he says almost bitterly but his lips twitch as he speaks. "I don't know anybody other than you in this place. I thought I'd stay the night and get tomorrow's shuttle back to Star Fleet. Now why were you there?"

"Like I said, the bar. Just for old times sake," I say awkwardly, trying to keep the real reason well out of conversation.

"Hmm," Bones muses. "And you're too drunk to drive home, right?"

"Yeah," I nod. I stop nodding at once because it makes my head hurt, "Got into a fight," I admit.

"I guessed as much," Bones sighs, "You can't go anywhere without getting into a fight." He laughs then, bitterly but it's still a laugh. "I'm sorry Jim," he admits.

"Me too," I say sad and then I don't give him the chance to speak though because words are suddenly tumbling out of my mouth, "I thought you loved me. I really thought you cared. I trusted you. Hell, I'd have trusted you with my life but… We said forever, Bones. I've seen that promised so many times and I really thought we could be together. I'm sorry it didn't work out. And just so you know, I still love you."

"Jim-," Bones tries to interrupt.

"I guess we just weren't meant to be?" I shut my eyes and wait for the answer I know he's going to give. I don't want to hear it but I know it's coming; the confirmation that he doesn't love me. Or that he does but he can't be with me or whatever because of his past relationships. I feel my heart racing in my chest.

"Jim…" Bones begins slowly, "I really am sorry. And… And I was going to ask, if you want that is, dammit Jim, I'm no good at this. I'm sorry. I guess I just panicked. I… I love you."

"What?" I blurt out as my eyes spring open and I turn to look at him again. Damn I'm confused.

"I never stopped loving you," he tells me, taking my undamaged hand and holds it gently, "And I want for us to be together."

I feel a smile break across my face, "What, seriously?"

"Yes," he nods.

I feel a warm bubble inside me and grin, "I'd like that too. I just want to ask though… Why did you walk away?"

His face flushes slightly though, "It's just that… I dunno. I think I panicked. Dammit, I know I panicked. I never seemed to be good enough for my ex's mom. She did everything in her power to break us up. I was just afraid that it'd happen again."

I grin at him, "No I didn't mean that. I'm talking about the fact you have my toothbrush in your suitcase."

He stares at me for a moment and then we both burst out laughing. Next I know, he's leaning forward and planting a sloppy kiss on my lips. "Yeah, sorry about that."

_**End**_


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